If you’re reading this post, maybe you’ve wondered to yourself, “Is my baby different, or am I just doing something wrong?”
When you look at your friends’ babies, they can be set down peacefully, only need to be fed every 2-3 hours, and their ‘witching hour’ doesn’t extend around the clock.
But if you’re here reading this, I’ll bet your baby needs to be held all the time, and/or feeds frequently, and/or seems to cry a lot more than is “normal.”
At least one person has probably made the supremely helpful declaration that “you’re spoiling that baby!” and you’re wondering if it’s true….
But your mother’s heart just can’t bear to leave your sweet baby to cry it out alone.
Is any of this sounding like you?
If so, I actually have GREAT news for you:
- You haven’t spoiled your baby
- You’re not doing it wrong, and you’re not a bad parent
- Your baby very likely IS “different!”
The thing is, parenting books only really portray ONE type of baby, and that’s supposed to be “normal.”
There are some babies though, like my firstborn, who are more “high-need” than other babies. They need to be held constantly, they need to nurse around the clock, they have loooong witching hours (like rush “hour” in a big city), they’re more sensitive or temperamental, and they need everything just-so.
And those needs don’t end at night.
I know this is getting to be a long introduction, but I just want to reassure you before we get into the meat of the post that your baby IS NORMAL–a different normal–and you’re not crazy!
In this post, I’m going to walk you through just about everything you need to know about your fussy, high-need baby because I know… It’s. So. Hard. Especially when you feel like no one else gets it.
But we’ll get into all of that! If you’ve related to anything I’ve said so far, then this post is for you!
Everything You Need to Know About Your Fussy Baby
This post is actually a round-up of all of the posts I’ve written about life with a fussy (high-need) baby.
Quick tip: There’s a TON of content here, so you might want to bookmark this page to make sure you don’t lose it and can refer back to lit later!
This article is a comprehensive introduction to your fussy baby.
We’ll walk through everything from what a high-need baby is, to the impact it has on you, as parents, to your baby’s quirky characteristics, and best of all, what you can do differently now that you understand you baby a bit better.
Definitely make sure you start with this post!
Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional or healthcare provider. The information I provide is from my own research and experience as a parent and should not be taken as medical advice.
Has your pediatrician or any of your friends labeled your baby “colicky?”
You should of course pay attention to what your child’s doctor is telling you, but you should not be afraid to question their advice or judgement.
Sadly, a lot of people, doctors included, have the wrong definition of “colic.”
It isn’t just crying for no apparent reason. As your child’s parent, it’s your job to be educated as much as possible so that you can be your child’s best advocate.
In this post, you’ll learn what colic ACTUALLY is, and how it differs from a non-colicky-but-still-fussy baby.
Super, you know your baby is fussy, but now what do you do about it? CAN you do anything about it?
Fortunately, recognizing and understanding your baby’s characteristics is just the first step.
When you’re in the moment dealing with a challenging infant, run-of-the-mill soothing techniques might not work consistently.
That’s why I’ve put together a list for you of my best tips and tricks for calming a fussy baby that you haven’t read everywhere else.
I’ve also included a free printable for easy reference so that your mom-brain doesn’t have to memorize the whole post.
Ever heard the advice: put your baby down while he’s sleepy, but awake?
Do you hear that sound right now? It’s all of the high-need baby moms laughing (as they simultaneously bounce and breastfeed their fussy babies in ring slings).
It still blows my mind that that works for some babies because MINE–pshh–forget it.
I couldn’t even lay her down when she was dead asleep because she always knew! She would wake up, and it would be all over.
But on top of that constant need for physical connection, many high-need babies need frequent feedings–no matter where the sun is located or what the clock says.
Getting up every 30 minutes, an hour, two hours, 15 minutes… it’s EXHAUSTING. And not sustainable.
In this post, I talk all about the struggles we experienced nighttime parenting a fussy baby, and what we did to get great sleep (under the circumstances).
While you absolutely don’t have to buy a single thing to accommodate your fussy baby, there are a few items that pretty much did SAVE MY LIFE.
Living with a fussy baby is so so so hard, but there are definitely ways to make it more bearable and even enjoyable!
If you’re struggling to survive, definitely make sure you check out my fussy-baby must-haves.
When we first started back to church with our fussy newborn, we did not want to leave her in the nursery.
For one thing, she fed a lot, and I wanted to constantly be available for her.
For another, she was so tiny! I felt like it was important to keep her with me, not just for her, but for me too!
Mom Friend (or Dad Friend), if no one else has told you this yet, then allow me:
Wanting to be with your baby is not separation anxiety! It’s just your natural biology!
AND it’s not something that needs to be retrained or fixed or corrected.
Please…please…please… Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.
Anyway, if you want to keep your baby with you at church, or some other similar event (you know, a stationary quiet one), then this post will give you 9 tips and tricks to help make things a little easier.
Now I want to hear from you!
Do you have a high-need/fussy baby? How are you holding up?
Let me know in the comments below.